Making Time for your Marriage

If it feels as though your marriage is running on auto-pilot and you never have enough time for one another, it may be time to take a step back and analyze your priorities. While there will also be demands on your time, failure to take sufficient time for your spouse and for your marriage can spell big trouble.

First, begin by sitting down and discussing the elements that are placing a time strain on your lives and your marriage. Find out where all of your time is going. Are you spending larger amounts of time on work? What about time with the kids, chores, hobbies, etc? Evaluate how you spend your time and ask yourselves if there are areas where you can cut back and devote more time to one another.

Ask yourselves how your marriage looks to other people, particularly if you have children. Do you think that others can see how you feel for one another or does it look as though you are two harried, stressed people who do not have time for one another anymore? Is this the image you want to project to others, especially your kids?

Are you setting aside time each day to reconnect with one another? Remember that you don’t have to spend a long period of time each day doing this, but the important key is that you take at least a few minutes to share your thoughts about the day and connect physically. Even a hug, back rub or a few minutes snuffling can go a long way toward helping you feel connected as a couple.

Avoid putting off your time together. It can be easy to say that you’ll get around to it when this project is completed or that crisis has passed, but more often than not something else will pop up to place demands on your time. Make spending time together a priority in your lives.

Learn to say no more often for items that tend to encroach on your time together, such as working overtime, social activities, chores, volunteer work, errands, etc.

Make it a point to ‘date’ one another at least once a month. Set aside some time on your calendar to spend exclusively with one another. Even if your budget can’t extend to actually going out, you can always work on putting the kids to bed early and cuddling on the couch while you watch a rented movie.

Don’t forget the way you wooed your spouse when you were dating. Just because you’re married now doesn’t mean you should stop all those romantic gestures. Send one another a love note, give them a card to tell them how much you love and appreciate them; even when you can’t be together.

 
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